FIC: Of (an endless supply of nicotine, and) us. Curt/Brian, M

[culuyetille]

Title: Of (an endless supply of nicotine, and) us
Author: lorielen
Fandom: Velvet Goldmine
Pairing: Curt/Brian
Rating: M
Summary: The uncomplicated story of how Curt came to call Brian “glitterhead”.
Beta: The lovely vainwithglitter *squishes* Any remaining mistakes are amine.
Disclaimer: Todd Haynes’, even though I’d treat them much better.

(16/out/07)EDIT: because I no longer trust LJ with my material, I've moved Of (an endless supply of nicotine, and) us to IJ.

- * -

*cross-posted to: velvet_goldmine and wolf_spacequeen

Comments

[spacequeen.livejournal.com]

Gah!!! You're so good at writing C/B. My OTP is C/A, but I always read your stories with pleasure. ♥

Whether it was because of his heartfelt words or his weight on Brian's groin, the blue eyes were no longer steely. Curt pressed his advantage, cupping the other man's face, his thumb caressing and smudging the rouge of a cheekbone. He lowered his voice to a husky whisper.

*Whimper* That was my favorite part.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

You've just made my day. Thank you really, really much. ♥♥

If I don't write C/B, I might just go insane. These two pop in my mind at all times, bringing situations that need working at and solving. I like Arthur as well, his development throughout VG was brilliant, but I feel he did get a non-bitter closure of what he had with Curt, whereas Brian and Curt... well, they make my heart ache.

*offers you some Ewan w/ coffee to compensate for your time*

[spacequeen.livejournal.com]

I think it's wonderful that you have a hot gay rock-star couple living in your brain, and that you let them out to play every now and then and share the sexiness of it with us! ♥

I usually avoid C/B fic for a couple of reasons. I feel that usually Brian is portrayed either as a total ass-hole jerk, or as a sentimental, caring unselfish individual. He was neither of those extremes and so it annoys me. You seem to be able to strike a lovely balance when describing him, and so I can enjoy it as if it were merely a scene that didn't make it into the movie. :)

Also, the break-up makes me sad, too, but mostly because of how my Curt(yes, lol, he's mine and I must protect him) was treated by Brian. So I appreciate the way your stories mostly focus, not on the break-up, but on the sweet and happy times they had together. ♥



*I talk too much.....* ;)

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

Oooh, none of that. There isn't nearly enough VG-talk getting done in the world. ;)

When you put it like that, it is indeed wonderful :) *pets the boyos*

Yes, I've stumbled on both characterisations on fanfic. I see Brian as a first and foremost fascinating fellow; it's impossible not to like him. His flaws are easy to spot, but his charm outweights them. He's much like a small child - he can be manipulative and selfish, but he's true when he smiles and holds you.

And gods, a scene that didn't make it into the movie is one of the best effing things you couldn've said about my writing, I'm really glad. Thank you.

*chuckles* I think we all get protective of Curt, because Brian was such a bloody prick to him, made me want to throw something at my tv. I get the sensation that at first, Brian was in pure awe of Curt, having dreamed about him for so long. It must've taken Curt some time to get to trust Brian, and finally love him. Towards the end, Brian clearly had other priorities that not Curt. They had something intense and special, but there was balance for very little in their relationship. I like to try and explore those times.

[xr8fordgirl.livejournal.com]

Don’t perform us. I fucking love you, you prissy idiot. All the things Curt didn’t say but knew Brian had heard anyway. The Brit studied him for a few seconds before smiling charmingly.

Not gonna cry....not gonna cry...........bugger! Dunno why it made me cry but it did. *sniffles* especially that line. I can hear Curt thinking that and willing Brian to understand that what they have means that much to Curt

I'll just give up writing now and read yours I think (not that wasn't why I was crying.) You write so beautifully and with so little words.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

oooooh, don't you dare stop writing. ...pretty please? Your stories are a source of inspiration to me, I keep going back to them for the brilliant C/B dynamics.

Besides, I'm still waiting for that fic with Curt and Brian discussing loudly and in public a bet involving a blowjob ;)

oh dear, I'm so sorry I made you cry. *huggles* To tell you the truth, when I first started to write this piece, it was supposed to be light and amusing, with Curt just generally annoying Brian with the entire 'glitterhead' thing. But it soon faded as I started to dig deeper, until I bumped on Embarrassing nicknames are part of the whole love thing,, which turned out to be the core of the ficlet. And then it became a melancholic piece and... well.

*slaps forehead* And I can't believe I haven't done this yet! *friends you for VG, Ewan/Hayden and teh Ewanness*

[xr8fordgirl.livejournal.com]

*also slaps forehead* I should have done that too. D'oh! *grins sheepishly and friends you back* Ewanness..........*sighs*

*blushes* Yes maam and I've started that fic too:) and since it's your plot bunny, as it were, do you want to beta read it when I finish? The Death of Maxwell Demon has stalled due to writers block *smacks head on desk* And I'm now struggling to get the silliest crossover onto paper. Curt and Brian in the Matrix with one totally mystified Neo trying to work out where the freck they came from. Even the Oracle and the Architect can't explain them.

I was in a pretty miserable mood yesterday between pms and an arsehole of a husband and I love that you write Curt in love with Brian but not sure how Brian feels about him which is how the relationship is in the film. *whispers* I cry everytime Brian lets Curt go in the film in betwen yelling at the tv for Brian to not do that. Tis silly I know but I just want to clang their heads together and make them see that they love each other.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

LOOOL, D'oh! has got to be one of my favourite expressions. I ♥ Homer Simpson

*huggles* Writer's block can be a bitch. But ideas usually come when you're not running after them - in the shower, for instance. I'd love to beta-read *flattered*! Just e-mail me. You might want to call for a second opinion though, because my grammar & punctuation aren't perfect (English is a second language for me).

*laughs* poor Neo! Well, I suppose he could use the glitter. The clothing from Reloaded & Revolutions had him looking like a priest o.O

And pms = teh eeeeeeeeep. But I'm totally with you on yelling at the tv when Brian lets Curt go. Darn, I wish I could trow a shoe at him or something, so that he'd come to his effing senses.

I just want to clang their heads together and make them see that they love each other.

*nods-nods* this is why I write at all. I can't digest that stupid break-up. .... one day I'll be very rich, so I'll hire Jonathan, Ewan and the costume lady and have things my way.

[xr8fordgirl.livejournal.com]

*blinks* English isn't your first language?

Hehehehe Homer, the ultimate idiot:)

Yeah writers block is a pain in the arse. I find walking away from the piece will usually results in something coming to mind. Mostly at 3am.

Yeah it did but Neo was supposed to look like that to go with messiah in the making sort of thing. The only way I can see to write it is make it a comedy of errors thus completley ruining the perfectly good seriousness the Wichowski's created. Besides Neo needs to smile more.

*agrees* I refuse to acknowledge it at all. I won't watch the fight which is why I never write it. Just ellude to it and why Brian went after Curt. Because that's what he fucking well should have done............*breathes*

Ooooooh cool. When this happens can I come and watch......please???

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

Nope. I'm Brazilian, Portuguese is my first language :)

Homer is priceless, I adore him. XD

Neo needs to smile more.

Ditto! ...poor Trin. *sniffs*

LOL of course! There'll be lots of popcorn, too ;)

I've been thinking and thinking of a story about what would've happened if Brian had tried to talk to Curt at the Death of Glitter concert. ...funny thing is that all I've got from Curt this far is a punch to Brian's nose and a grumbled "That's for fucking dying on me, you fuck." Alas, it'll hopefully take shape some day, and I'll get the boys on good terms.

[xr8fordgirl.livejournal.com]

Brazil? WOW you're the third person on LJ I know from there now:)

*is happy now*

LOL funny you should say that cos I've almost finished a miserable peice of fic where Brian and Curt get back together after the DOG concert. Completely outside the other world I've created for them. I was totally miserable and have a song that positively screams Curt and Brian's break up so I worte a story around it.

What's your email addy sweets?

Oooh I joined that Ewan comm you linked me too as well

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

=] Where are you from??

(Your Curt icon is making my eyes watery..) What song is that? or maybe I don't want to know And why haven't you finished the story? Is it angsty and sad?

My e-mail is lorielen (at) hotmail.com

Brilliant!!! It's a fantastic place for Ewan-lovers.

[xr8fordgirl.livejournal.com]

Australia.

It's a miserable sad story with a happy ending. The song I wrote it around is Stereophonics, Since I Told You It's Over. Curt hurting always reduces me to tears

Thankyou sweets *huggles*

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

*huggles back* I got both your e-mails, and I read the "first draft". I really like it =] You've portrayed their tiredness and hunger for each other so well, it was heartbreaking. I loved the idea of the tape, it's so Brian, being afraid to face Curt but trusting that pouring his heart out would, should somehow make a difference. I'll just wait for the modified version before sending you a more detailed commentary, I suppose ;]

And, brilliant song. So fitting it's scary!

[xr8fordgirl.livejournal.com]

I was worried it's too long but I can't get it any shorter without sacrificing the continuity of the story line

I'm just adding more emotion in it I think and dragging the smoochies out a bit. They need lots of smoochies, yes?

When I first heard the song I wondered if Kelly Jones (singer of Stereophonics) hadn't written it about Curt and Brian being a good friend of Ewan's and all.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

Hey, don't say things like that. I wish I could write longer stories like you do. *sighs*

They need all the smooching they can get. Btw, I've been meaning to ask you something for a while now. Where do you stand with role-playing? Because it's one of my favourite ways of having fun with characters, and we seem to share a more or less compatible time zone ;)

[irrlicht74.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just...wow.

Embarrassing nicknames are part of the whole love thing

That line killed me, because I was very surprised to hear Curt using the "L-word" at all. I mean, sure. He loves Brian, no doubt. But I actually never thought he'd say it out loud. You really got me with that one, dear.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

this means so much to me, you have no idea. When I was writing, I stared and stared at my screen for several minutes after I'd written Curt saying "love". I tried to find a more informal word, believing that Curt wouldn't like to put it that way. But then I realised that it couldn't be written any other way, because the story turned out to be about Curt coming to terms with the fact that he is indeed in love with Brian, and deciding that he will damn well fight for it.

..and to think this started out as a funny piece to play with the endearment "glitterhead". Brian instantly rebelled, of course, which was still going according to plan. But then Curt surprised himself and me. *sighs*

[irrlicht74.livejournal.com]

*huggles* :)

You’re right. It couldn’t be said and/or written any other way. And even if my Orlando uses “love” very often – especially regarding Eric ;) – you’d have to put both Chris’ and Chase’s life at stake before they’d even consider thinking of it. And really, I thought with Curt it would be just the same. But I think he’d finally figured out – just like you – that there was simply no other way to put it. And it fits. :)

Tell me about a story gathering momentum. The whole Chris/Chase thingy was meant to be a one-shot, maybe two stories at the most. But somehow it snowballed from there. :) Muses can be very surprising. It’s what makes them so special.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

Kinda OT: dear, did you get my e-mail with the beta-ed version of part III?

you’d have to put both Chris’ and Chase’s life at stake before they’d even consider thinking of it

They're both very proud, aren't they? And I'm glad it isn't a one-shot. You're really building a fantastic story there. I love how the plot centres on the characters' emotions, and you weave the developments beautifully. Muses are indeed amazing. I hadn't written actively in a long time, and now that I'm again at it, it feels so darn good. *offers Curt & Brian sugar cubes*

[irrlicht74.livejournal.com]

Erm...yes. And I sent it right back to you with new comments. *is confused and slightly concerned* Please, PLEASE don't tell me you haven't gotten any of my last three e-mails...

They're both very proud, aren't they?

I'd rather say stubborn. Stubborn AND proud. At least on Chris' part. Chase is...I don't really know what Chase is, but if he was proud, he wouldn't put up with all the shit from House but shoot back or something. No backbone, really. But fear not, darling. That'll change. ;)

Thank you so much. *blushes* I really hope I'll be able to stick to it for...oh, I don't know. Ever? *laughs* I know exactly what you mean, love. I didn't suffer a "real" writer's block, since I'd always been able to write with Caro, no matter what, but I haven't written something on my own for such a long time that I's almost lost faith. But...yeah, well. Thanks to my new muses everythin fell into place somehow. :)

*huggles*

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

...I haven't got anything since the part III I sent to you. ...damn >.< are you online atm? I'm logged in at msn.

[yesido.livejournal.com]

That's so sweet. The dialogue is fresh and clever and real, and you manage to make this humorous and sweet while still taking a serious emotional exchange and making it feel true. Good job!

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

Ooh, thank you!!! I have difficulties writing dialogue, so that compliment means the world to me. I'm glad you enjoyed the fic! :)

[secret-plasures.livejournal.com]

*grumbles* Stupid LJ ate my first comment.

Let me paraphrase and say amazing, as per usual. I love the last few lines, and the fact that Curt is more aware of what they have and isn't afraid to put a name to it. Lovely.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

bad, bad LJ!

Thank you! *blushes* I just see Curt as being very brave, and very genuine.

[secret-plasures.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me too, I think. He's been through a lot of crap, but I think that makes him more self-aware. Also, it hurt him more when Brian was an utter--*deep breath* Bad Brian. Curt deserves to be happy.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

He damn well does. It's just really amazing that he's been through so much but didn't close up to the world like an oyster; when Brian sought him, he was open and smiled so easily.

Gods, when Curt performed Gimme Danger for Brian, it nearly killed me. I couldn't understand how Brian didn't jump on that stage, craddled Curt in his arms, held him and promised that everything would be alright.

[secret-plasures.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I was so hoping for something like that. When they had their fight the first time I watched, I was like, "What? I have to watch the rest of the movie now with Brian having been a bastard to Curt and he isn't apologizing? I don't wanna!" I did, of course. But...gr.

That's what fanfic is for.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

That's what fanfic is for.

Precisely :) Brian needs a good spanking, and Curt is just the man for the job The boys need mending - preferably with much smooching involved ;)

[ziggythewalrus.livejournal.com]

I agree with what others said: it could fit in the movie pretty darn well! *sigh* Curt/Brian=Love

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

*blushes* that's the best feedback I could possibly hope for, thank you!! And they definitely are :)

[bboinnng.livejournal.com]

Damn, you write beautifully!!! I cannot BELIEVE English is not your first language. You certainly write better than many whose first language IS English- including me! Here is one of my favorite parts of your story, which I found 1) scorching hot - for Bri to suddenly come out and ask such a deliciously filthy question out of the blue, and 2) for Curt to not take the bait, but instead to respond as he does, in a way that lets him know that he takes his love for Brian very seriously and expects Brian to respect it as he does.

Lovely!


"I quite like it, actually." Brian tilted his head to one side, moaning as Curt worried his earlobe between his teeth. "Will you howl when you come inside me tonight? I'd like that."

Jesus! As if Curt weren't already throbbing with the mere scent of him. Then something occurred to the American and he pulled back to give Brian a no-nonsense look.

"Only if you promise to never make lyrics out of this."

Don’t perform us. I fucking love you, you prissy idiot. All the things Curt didn’t say but knew Brian had heard anyway.

[culuyetille.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Thank you! Your words mean a lot to me, and I'm very glad you enjoyed this story!

Well, in truth, when Brian asked that, it was a) pure diversional tactics, because he wanted to think about what Curt'd said later and then come back to the fight when he had ammunition and b) a spur of the moment thing, because the idea aroused him and he's whimsical like that (to me) ;)

You're completely right about Curt, he does intend to try and make Brian see that what they have is not to be treated lightly. *nods* ....damn, canon kills me. >.